the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
