they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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