we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
