just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
