Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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