you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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