Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
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they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
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He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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