Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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