im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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