i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
my liver is dry heaving
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
