I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
