I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
