if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just fell off a train. Bad.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
