Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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