Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
