google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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