yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
