I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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