i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
