So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize