Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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