I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
