is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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