i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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