I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
