im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
