but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
