Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
