This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
