remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize