Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
