apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Randomize
