we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
