btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
