What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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