i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize