this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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