let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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