Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
