and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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