Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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