It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
