What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
