Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
