I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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