i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
dude. I can hear the air.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
