Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
