Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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