oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
