38 yer olds are good kisserssss
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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