he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
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He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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