I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
