Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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