haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
