I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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