Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
