My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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