UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
