Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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