HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he thought i was a dude.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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