the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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