omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
