I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the liver wants what the liver wants
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
