i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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