you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
