ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
