And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
