K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
