Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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